FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
