peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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