She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
