He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so that wasnt chicken after all
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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