K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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