I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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