we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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