cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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