I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
