I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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