I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
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