Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
