i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
