When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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