It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
