We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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