im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
