my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
