gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
