Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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