He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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