I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
