Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
