i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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