is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just gift wrapped bread.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
