You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
