Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
