i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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