please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
