Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
