Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
