Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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