I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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