Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
