If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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