I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
