I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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