i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
