I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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