I am puke
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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