K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
