just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
