I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
