Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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