SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
