I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
we're so committed to being not committed
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
