I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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