If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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