Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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