Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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